I have a confession: Sometimes sadness rages.

My life is filled with so much goodness. It is full and the land I am living in is pleasant and satisfying. And yet, sometimes I am overcome with heartbreak and replay memories of both ecstasy and trauma over and over in my mind. Perhaps I am not alone in such a cycle

This week I have been hit with - what I believe is - my first ever migraine. When the initial attack came on, I thought death may be knocking at my door. (And before you give me advice, my mom and children have already been hounding me about going to the doctor!) I realize that this is likely both a physical and mental condition- underlying tension catching up with me. As the pain has ebbed and flowed throughout the week, it has become more and more clear that I must kill the grumbling thoughts within my mind and dwell on that which is good.

And I believe that it is all good.

Brennan Manning describes situations of life as . . .

Disastrous victory

Magnificent defeat

Soul-diminishing successes

Life-enhancing failures

I love the paradox of these statements. I have lived them and embrace the beauty.

In the mysterious paradox of life, a disastrous degree of sadness and pain can be a conduit of magnificent joy.

Today I release myself from the grumbling of “what-ifs” and the pain of what is not - and cling to what is - and the promises that dwell there.  Will you join me?

Today I rise and give it another go. Will you join me?

Today I cease from feeding fear and anxiety and pain. Will you join me?

Not too long ago, I watched the rising of the sun, from the first break of dawn to its full setting. It is a reminder of the light that slowly creeps into the darkness and gives hope to begin again - once again.

I have reflections of forgiveness and hope and unprecedented passion for life stirring within me. But today, once again, I simply leave sadness behind. I embrace disastrous victory.

“Joy and gladness will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee.” Isaiah 51:11