Do you remember those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books that were popular in the 80’s and 90’s? The books were written in second person and designed for the reader to take on the role of the protagonist. At various points throughout the story, the reader was given choices to determine what would happen next . . .

Follow the tour guide down the path to quickly return to safety, turn to page 89; or, Follow the handsome stranger into the jungle to find the source of the strange and deafening sound, turn to page 107.

Being a person who gets caught up in a good story, I loved those books. (And for the record, I’m always going with the handsome stranger.)

I guess, in a way, all of us are living our own personal “Choose your Own Adventure” story all day, every day . . .

Send the text, turn to page 14.

Put your phone down and continue cooking dinner, turn to page 27.

Accept the job offer - even though you aren’t quite sure how it is going to work out, turn to page 110.

Stay in your current work and wait for something else to come along, turn to page 133.

Sign your name on the dotted line and your life will change forever, turn to page 42.

Tell them that you’ve changed your mind and you want to explore other options, turn to page 54.

Back in the late fall, I was sitting at home on an ordinary night. Well, it was ordinary except for that it was exceptionally warm in Indiana for being late in October. The air quality and temperature was perfect, just the right amount of coolness and warmth mixed together. I had some writing to do and some cheap wine. It was the perfect night to sit on the porch. But, somehow, it didn’t feel quite safe or right to sit alone.

It reminded me that I wasn’t supposed to be sitting on the porch alone. That wasn’t my plan.

Somehow that reminded me of those Choose your Own Adventure Books. As I mentioned, the story changed based on the choices that the reader decided to make. But, the best part was that you could go back and read the story all over again. You could relive your favorite parts and make different choices to modify the story and the outcome.

All of us are making small and big choices all day, every day that add up to a life.

And, on that ordinary and exceptionally warm night in the fall, I wondered what it would be like to go back into my story over and over again until I chose all of the paths and made all of the choices that led me to sitting on the porch that night with someone I love.

But, of course, that’s not real. That is not how life works. Not only do I make choices, but the people around me make choices as well. This web of choices impacts the trajectory of life. And we cannot go backwards and tweak all of the choices of ourselves and others until we reach the outcome we deem as just right.

So, what are we to do?

I don’t have the answers, but I know what I’m trying to do.

I’m accepting the outcome of choices and leaning into the path I currently find myself on. I’m feeling the feelings and moving forward with hope. It is usually a really special place to be. There is more.

I’m making choices every day and giving myself lots of grace. I’m trying to ditch the idea of labeling choices as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, ‘good’ or ‘bad’. I am accepting that choices are part of the great adventure of life and navigating the outcome and consequences of those choices is part of that great adventure.

I can’t go back over and over again and modify my story so that I reach what I think is the desired outcome, in my limited view of life. Instead, I am leaning into God and believing that there is an even greater story at work. The more I lean in, the more I see that big story - and it really is beautiful and good.