I have a confession: I like nice things and I want nice things. And, if I’m being honest, which is my default, I want people to be impressed by my nice things. Even more than being impressed with my nice things, I want people to be impressed by my hospitality and experience a positive energy in spaces that I create. In grad school, everyone showed up for my famous sweet tea and games. As a student life professional, students and staff showed up for parties and trainings and meals. As a friend, I’ve hosted football parties, movie release parties, Christmas parties, and more. There is always good food and loud laughter and vibrant conversation. I’ve created sacred spaces of prayer and worship, spaces where love is cultivated and grows.

One of the casualties of life taking a turn over the last several years has been the loss of energy to create spaces such as these. Perhaps a welcome change is that I no longer care as much about nice things and have traded some of the clutter of stuff in for a greater semblance of simplicity. It has become astronomically important to simply discover peace, to rest, to be.

When I needed a space to start over again, a home seemed to fall into my lap. The kids and I quickly embraced it as our “cottage” and found ways to make it our own. No matter where we are in our cottage, we can hear one another. This closeness holds us tight and pulls as together when we’ve never needed together more. There is a good chance that we watch way too much TV and too many movies and eat too much popcorn and freshly baked goods . . . but we also sit close. We laugh. We pray. We sing. We rush outside to see the sunset. We share deep things. We play games. We make the most of many moments. We sit on the porch. We love deeply. We learn to be kind and to apologize. We plant. We water. We grow.

We heal.

I heal.

The walls of this little cottage hold moments and secrets no one will ever quite know and understand. I am extremely thankful that the walls cannot reveal the unbelievable amount of Netflix I’ve watched or how many times I’ve binged an entire series in one sitting. Or eaten an entire bag of chips in one sitting. And then, there’s the wine. Oh, the wine.

This cottage knows the joy of loud music and solo dance parties.

This cottage also holds wails of pain and loss . . . Tears and wails and weeping.

This cottage is a gift. It is a space of healing. It listens to my new questions and within it I receive new hope, new freedom, new peace.

Sometimes physical spaces are a balm that soothes our souls and heals wounds deep within. What spaces of healing have you found in your life? Are there places that know your deep secrets and pain and joy? Allow yourself to feel all the things, no matter how unpleasant, and don’t miss the treasure these spaces have for you. Allow the walls to keep your secrets and be set free.

Someday we will leave this little cottage, but I know that it will forever hold memories of love and laughter, of grace and growth and wholeness. It is and has been exactly what we’ve needed and what we need. It is and has been exactly what I’ve needed and what I need . . . And I am so thankful.
-Tam xoxo

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