I have a confession: Even though I am not moving on, I am letting go.

Well, let me a bit more honest. I am trying to let go. Sometimes this is a painfully slow release.

Not too long ago, I was highly aware that at all times either my heart or my stomach physically hurt. So much emotion was being stored in my body that I could feel it. All. The. Time. I remember thinking how desperately I wanted the pain and uneasiness to go away, but it had become so much a part of me. How would I feel without it?

Although those emotions and physical manifestations are still present at times, they are the exception, rather than the norm. The sweet and slow release is liberating and peaceful.

I have reflected on the myth of moving on. Moving on? It’s not really a thing. What is a real thing is to move through the movement of life and accept all things as part of the tapestry of our story and to move forward.

But what about letting go? Somehow that seems like something else entirely. I am also beginning to think that letting go is a key component of moving through. First, I suppose, I have to take a long, hard look at what I am holding onto. What is it? Why am I holding onto it? Why did I start holding it in the first place? How long have I been holding it? What is the benefit of holding on? What is the benefit of letting go?

Honestly asking ourselves these questions may be uncomfortable, but the potential for new found freedom is also great. We may know deep in our spirit that we should stop holding on to unforgiveness or old ways of thinking or unrealistic expectations or legalism or self-doubt or fear or a relationship or a career or disappointment. What is holding us back from letting go?

Is it control? That’s the easy answer. Most people struggle with control on some level. Struggling with control often gets a bad rap, but many times maintaining some sense of control is due to some healthy levels of self preservation. But control can also keep us from seeing possibility.

We often hold on because of fear. We may feel exposed and naked and vulnerable when we let go of that which we have been holding on to so tightly.

We hold on because we are comfortable. We know that opening ourselves to greater potential and a different way of being and seeing the world would liberate us, but there are too many unknowns and we aren’t willing to risk. We hold on because the spreadsheet doesn’t line up and the numbers don’t quite make sense.

There are so many reasons we hold on. What are your reasons? Are the reasons worth it? There have been times I have let go and, surprisingly, felt zero bit of loss. Other times, I wrestle and struggle.

Give yourself the grace of a slow release. Let go of fear. Let go ego. Let go of control. Let go of comfort.

Let go through tears. Let go through conversation. Let go through rest. Let go through therapy. Let go through prayer. Let go through art and creativity. Let go through friendship. Let go through time.

Let go to create space to hold on to something else. Something unknown. Something beautiful. Something good.