Discovering . . . Something You Have Never Been

This goes out to all of my friends who have experienced the reality of life drowning out parts of who you once were.

A couple of weeks ago I was startled awake on a Saturday morning with a random and pervasive thought: My front door needs a wreath. Never mind that the porch needed swept and the weeds needed pulled and I probably needed a little more sleep in the midst of a seven day work week. I jumped out of bed much quicker than usual and headed to the craft store. Supplies were soon purchased and spread across my kitchen table and I began to create. I quickly realized that my window of time for the wreath project was expiring quickly and so I hurriedly placed each piece and decided the end result had to be “good enough” because it was time for work.

The wreath was hung on my door and I was satisfied.

This little thing, this small moment of time, this wreath- holds meaning. I used to make wreaths and elaborate flower arrangements on the regular. I decorated with joy and creativity. Somehow, the chaos and pain and uncertainty and instability of life and home drowned out that part of me.

And in that moment- a glimpse of those parts of me returned. Perhaps I am returning to myself. Or perhaps, I will discover my true self in a whole new way.

I know that I have also embraced a greater posture of simplicity and I am interested to see how who I have been and who I am becoming will merge.

Coming back to myself. Discovering myself.

I am trying to embrace this process with joy.

If you find yourself in a similar place, oh how I hope this for you too.

“Beware of harking back to what you once were, when God wants you to be something you have never been.” (Oswald Chambers- One of my absolute favorite quotes of all time.)