The Raw Reality of Grief and Gratitude

My emotions on the porch hit unexpectedly today. Sometimes the fusion of grief and gratitude is so simple and profound.

I sat reading and taking moments to breathe and listen to the sound of the rain and soak in the peace of silence . . . And the raw reality of grief and gratitude met me.

This porch is such a place of peace for me. There is gratitude.

This was supposed to be a place of peace for us. There is grief.

I imagined and desired. I was certain of redemption. There is grief.

I simply wanted us to sit in peace, free from the shadows of the past, in love and acceptance and gentle presence.

Peace. Trust. Gentle presence. It was anything but.

Instead . . . Chaos. Confusion. Doubt. So Much Shame. There is grief.

I forgive you. I forgive me. I forgive us. There is gratitude.

This space of peace is still mine for the taking. Gratitude. Tears. Truth.

I can sit in peace.

I can sit in freedom.

The shadows of the past are nearly dissipated.

As I sit, alone, there is love and acceptance and gentle Presence.

I don’t need anyone to experience it with me for it to be real.

I am forgiven. I am whole. I am enough.