The Beautiful Dance of Grief and Gratitude

As I sit on the porch alone watching the rain, I am not alone, and I am free. My tears of  gratitude and grief and joy are my companions. Gentle music is my friend.  My partners are authors of words that remind me of the great mission to simply be love in this world.

I am free to be. I am free to live. I am free to grieve loss and free to be grateful for a present and a future that is full and good.

Being alone has always been a struggle for me. I enjoy being surrounded by other living, breathing people - taking in conversation or laughter or simple presence.  My sister sent me a screenshot last night of a text conversation with her teenage son. “Please invite Aunt Tam over for the 4th . . . Please don’t let Aunt Tam be alone, mom.” I am weeping again thinking about it, so incredibly grateful for love and care and peace.

Even when I am alone, I am not. And I have the choice to also be physically present with others. I have multiple invitations today from people from various beautiful facets of my life.  I’ll likely accept at least one of them - while I also do not mind lingering as long as possible listening to the rain.

It is real that my grief and longings are exponential. It is also real that gratitude reigns supreme.

Gratitude and Grief hold on tight to one another as beautiful dance partners, the dance teaching me and comforting me and executing joy. I am invited into the dance and held in perfect peace and freedom. Let it be so. It is so.