I have a confession : I feel so weak sometimes.

As I was allowing myself to feel and name and recognize this weakness of spirit, I was reminded of a scripture quite familiar to me. What does it say exactly? When I am weak, then I am strong?

I feel weak. I feel weak and yet, perhaps, this is the strongest that I have ever been.

Another scripture entered my mind as I reflected. What does it say? I believe it says something about the strength of the Lord being made perfect in weakness.

I took the time to look it up and yes, indeed, by some mysterious and upside down way of things, apparently great strength can be found in weakness. Perhaps when we recognize how limited and fragile our human condition is, we are ready to receive a presence and power in our spirit that is far beyond us.

The scriptures that were sowed in my heart and sprung to my mind are found in 2 Corinthians. Paul, a leader and teacher, is pleading with the Lord to remove the ‘thorn in his flesh.’ This reminds me of the many times I have pleaded with the Lord to come to my rescue.  To bring my life into alignment in a way that makes sense. To rescue me from sadness and a shattered heart and uncertainty and pain. To rescue me from myself!

When Paul pleads, the Lord answers:

“‘My grace is always more than enough for you and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.’ So I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I am weak, I sense more deeply, the mighty power of Christ living in me. So I am not defeated in my weakness, but delighted . . . My weakness becomes a portal to God’s power.”

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

I don’t have to be strong. I am not strong simply within myself. In fact, I am weak, and my spirit is poor. And this is exactly where I should be.

In the First Nations Version translation of this passage, it says it like this: “The gift of my great kindness will give you the strength you need.” And, “For when I am weak, Creator’s strength becomes my own.”

This is my desire. To embrace and name my weakness. My weakness sometimes creeps in with force. Weakness of mind and heart. I can choose to ignore it or control it, or master it. Or, I can receive it as a gift. What a beautiful gift that there is a power quite beyond me. A power that also is within me. It is a powerful kindness that gives me the strength that I need for each moment.

To live fully in each moment is more than enough.

I desire nothing less than the strength of the Creator to become my own.

If I must find that mysterious strength perfectly in weakness, let it be so. And let it be so for you.